The Jealousy of a Swede
by gomenasai-for-everything
Summary: Seeing Toki and his interactions with his other bandmates has finally sent Skwisgaar to his breaking point! Watch as he confronts them all one by one, and everyone learns that you should not mess with a Swede's Norwegian!
1. Chapter 1

A/N Well, here's another Skwisgaar/Toki, just because I guess. This one is a lot less plot oriented than my last one, but I thought the idea was cute and couldn't resist.

Disclaimer: I don't own Metalocalypse.

* * *

Hellos, my name ams Skwisgaar Skwigelf, and I ams de owner of an adorasble Norwegian named Tokis Wartooth. Now, this woulds be all wells and goods if de stupids dildo knew dat, but he ams sorts of a dumbass somestimes. Dat ams alright though, he ams will figures it out eventuallies, I will makes sure of its! It will be difficults, but I ams de fastest guitarists in de worlds, ja? I can has anyones I want in mine bed, he ams no exception! Alls I has to does is gets it across to him dat no, he can't 'pals around' with de others guys, because he ams mine, and dat ams dat! Nots too hard. But who to begins with? Theys all has too much contacts with my littles Toki, buts I guesses I shoulds get rids of the one who has de most first. Ors maybe not. Maybes I shoulds eliminate the ones who ams no competitions first, justs to makes sures I cans plan betters for the threats. Ja, ja, dat ams good! I's will have him knowings justs who he belongs to by the end of de week! Nows, all I has to do is try and figures out who ams goings first...

Murderface seems like de most reasonables option, I's suppose. He ams hideous, ands he usually only hangs around Toki when he can gets something out of its. Toki seems to likes him though. He comes like de damns dog, and never protests, plus Murderface ams hads de attractions to him befores. Whats if Murderface ams de competitions? Whats if Toki ams liking de guys like dat? Damn, dat ams disgustings! No way in hells would Tokis want dat, not my Toki! Murderface ams no competition ats all! It'll be reals easy to discourages him, especiallies since he ams always talkings about how he ams not gay, even though he obviously ams. Ja, I gets rid of him easies, no problems! It ams de others dat will be de issue, I t'ink.

I t'ink now I's needs to bes considering Mr. Managers Charleses. Littles Toki ams always so admrings of him, and it pisses me offs. I's am Toki's mentor, so he ams supposed to only looks up to mes! Charles ams nothings compared to me, but sillies Toki ams thinking that he is hims surrogates father or somethings! He ams always givings him de hugs and going to him's office all de times, it ams sickenings! Toki ams supposed to be knowings dat he should tells me what ams botherings him! He amnest needs nobody else! Stupids Charles, thinking he needs to be doings de comfortings and shits when dat ams my job! Toki ams supposed to be closest tos me, because he ams mine! He ams was mine de veries first day he became a parts of Dethklok, and Charles ams not will fucks with dat! I will deals with dat glasses wearing smarts ass right after Murderface.

Abigail ams next. Even after all dat shits with Pickle and Nat'an I t'ink she ams eyesing Toki. I can sees why, of course, littles Toki ams sexies, but if it was just dat I wouldn't be sos annoyed. She ams de lady, and pretties I guesses, sos I can't be sures dat Toki won't falls for her. He ams always talking about how he loves de pretties ladies and de kissings and huggings and stuffs, as though he could actuallies put hims dick in somethings. It ams a ridiculous notions! Tokis couldn't screw de woman if hims life depended ons it! He ams too perfect fors me to fucks nothing, buts just in case I needs to talks to Abigail and make sure she knows dat de only t'ing dat ams ever getting wrapped around hims cock ams mine hand, and when sweets Toki finally realizes dat he ams mine I's gots to make sure he stops with the attempts to fucks her, and de walking around Mordhaus shirtsless. All dese dildos around here amnest needs de extra temptation to steals what ams mine.

Speakings of de stealings, Pickle ams turning into a reals problem. He ams seemings to t'ink dat he ams qualified to give Toki de guitar lessons and shits, it ams fuckings stupids. Toki ams my rhythm guitarists, he plays what I tells him to how I's tell him too, and dat fuckings drunk t'inks he can change dat! He t'inks he can teaches him better den me? As ifs! I ams de best teacher because I ams de best guitarist! He ams just some washed up glams metal star, I ams de real guitarist! Toki must be taughts by me, so dat he can does de best he can! Ands all de time he ams spendings in Pickle's room? It ams needing to stop. I has seen de way Pickle eyes him, he ams practically fuckings drooling! He will find out soons enough dat Toki's ass ams mine, and I does not share. He wills find out dat Toki don't want no alcoholic druggie, he ams want someone what can actually still gets de boner! Damn, Pickle ams not even goings to be allowed in de room with Toki soon, he ams too fuckings attached! All dat friendship bullshit, I's know where he ams goings! I's got news for him though, it ams not de 80's no more, friends don't get to fuck! I's goings to have to make sure dey don't gets drunk together no mores too, who knows what dat old bastard has been doing to Toki's when he won'ts remembers it? Hells, he ams so out of it when he gets drunk or high I's coulds have fucked him overs a hundred times! In de hindsights I probablies should have, honestlies, but stills. It will bes better when he ams sober. Anyways, Pickle ams needings to go. He ams gettings way too close to Toki, and de more I t'ink of it de more I regret my decision to gets de lowest threats out of de way first, even though I ams knowing dat ams de best way.

Nat'an ams de biggest competition. Toki's has always had de 'hero worship' for Nat'an, almost as much as he ams had for me. He ams always hangings around de huge bastard, tryings to get him to plays de videogames, to eats de pickled herring sandwiches, to lets him has de solos... he acts like he ams supposed to act justs around mes. It woulds be funnies if it seemed to bothers Nat'an, but nos, he ams just acts all nice and shits. He amnest even yells at him like he does de rest ofs us! Ja, I's appreciate dat he looks after my littles Toki when I's can't, but it ams fuckings ridiculous! He cans be de bodyguards, likes a super protective Kloksateer, but dat ams it! No pattings him on de heads, no touchings him, no takings him off into de recording studios alone to records some pianos part, none of dat shits! I's am perfectlies capable of listening to hims play de piano, I's am probablies more capables den Nat'an! Sos what if he ams de frontman, I's write all de piano parts! Why ams he needs de perskonals time with Toki? It ams stupids, and it ams needs to get stopped. Alls of it, alls de shits with Murderface, Charles, Abigail, Pickle, Nat'an, alls of it! Toki ams mine, and everyone ams going to finds dat out reals soon! I's finally goings to stake mine claim, and no one ams goings to do nothings about it! Someone ams knockings on mine door now.

"Who ams it," I yelled, nots wanting to be disturbed during my plannings time.

"It ams Toki! I's was coming to tells you me and Murderface ams goings out. He ams havings some Planets Piss stuff he wants help with. I's be back later, ja?" his sweets voice came through the door, and I smirked. How perfects, I could get started sooner den I thoughts!

"Whatevers Toki. Hey, sends Murderface up here when you gets back, alright? I wrotes up some bass shit, and he ams needings to look at it."

"Ja, ja, I does dat. Bye bye, Skwisgaar!" I heard his heavy booted feets stomping down de hall and grinned agains. Ja, just a littles while and he woulds be onlies mine!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: well, here's chapter two! There are some POV switches in this one, so look out for those, I guess.

Disclaimer: I don't own Metalocalypse.

* * *

Murderface's POV

Where ish that shtupid dildo? Doesh it really take that long for him to tell Skwishgaar where he'sh going? I know the Shwede hash been being more of an assh than ushual but shit, he hash to record the shit for Planet Pissh! I want to try and get shome piano partsh in there thish time, that'll be aweshome! Shit, I hope he get'sh hish assh down here shoon, I'm getting shome great ideash! I think he'sh coming, yeah, there he ish.

"What took you sho long, asshole?"

"I's told you, I's had to go ands tell Skwisgaar where I was goings. He freakeds out de last times I left without tellings him," he shmiled like the oblivioush dumbfuck he ish. He'sh like the only one that doeshn't know about how Skwishgaar wantsh to shcrew him upshide down, backwardsh, and shide-waysh, ash though the shtupid Shwede would actually be a good match for him. He'd be better off dating one of the other guysh, I think. Not me, shince I'm pretty much the only shtraight guy in thish placesh, but maybe Picklesh would work. Maybe. He'sh short of an assh too shometimesh. Whatever.

"Yeah, yeah hurry up. I want you to play some piano stuff on the next Planet Pissh album." He shifted around a little.

"Sorries, I can't does dat."

"Why the hell not!?" I cursed at him and he winced. I felt a little guilty for shcaring him.

"Charlies and Nat'an mades me sign de contracts! I can'ts play de pianos for nobodies but Dethsklok, I's only allowed to play de guitars in de sides projects!" I shighed.

"That'sh fucking shtupid. Do you know why?" I ashked ash I got in my car. Toki got in the passhenger shide.

"Nopes! De contracts was in English. I couldn'ts read it, and all does two woulds tell me was I couldn'ts play no pianos for nobodies else." I nodded. Of course thoshe dildosh wouldn't shay the reashon why, probably don't want to give anyone elshe the advantage, the douchebagsh.

"Yeah, well talk to them when we get back. Thish album won't work without it!"

"Can'ts you justs get another pianos player? I's not dat good no ways."

"You shound better than mosht other assholesh I could get. Beshides, it'sh not fair that you can play one inshtument for shomeone elshe but not the other one."

"Ja, dat ams makings sense Moiderface! I's talk to Charlies justs as soon as we gets back to de Haus, ands I's at leasts finds out why." I nodded again ash we pulled into the shitty shtudio I wash renting to record the album. Toki went right into the booth, shince I alwaysh had him go firsht. Skwishgaar ish alwaysh sho hard on him, he shounds really good, and I ushually build the album around whatever he recordsh. He shtill can't write muschic for shit though, sho me and Knubbler deal with that part. He alwaysh getsh sho into whatever he'sh playing that I can't help but shtare. Hish hair ish alwaysh flying around, and hish fingersh are sho ridiculoushly fasht. He'sh like a god, almosht, and hish body short of shupportsh that. Sherioushly, all he doesh ish eat candy and shit and he'sh ripped! Anyone would think he'sh hot, sho that doeshn't make me gay or anything, jusht human. Anyone would alsho think he'sh really nice and shweet, sho that doeshn't make me a faggot either. Shtill, I can shee why Skwishgaar likesh making him play what he writesh sho much. It'sh thish weird, almosht powerful feeling, having shomeone like him play your muschic. I wash sho dishtracted that I didn't even notice when he left the booth. "Murderface? Ams you alrights? You needs to record de bass and de vocals don'ts you? Or does you want Knubbler arounds for dat?"

"Shit, shorry, I'll do that now," I shtood up, hating myshelf for acting like shuch a shtupid motherfucker. I went through my partsh pretty eashily, shince I never make them too difficult, and left with Toki. He shaid I shounded good, but I figured he wash lying. We didn't talk until we got back to Mordhaush's garage.

"Heys, I justs remembered! Skwisgaar saids he was wantings you to go to his room and talks about de bass. You go does dat while I go talks to Charlies, ja?" I nodded, curshing my luck for having to go talk to the shtupid, shelfish Shwede.

* * *

Skwisgaar's POV

I can hear de dumbs dildos suckings Murderface stompings down de hallways now. It ams pretties funny dat justs de though of talkings to me cans piss him offs sos much, but he ams goings to be more pisseds when he finds out whys he ams here. Goddamns it, ams he have to knocks so loudlys?

"Comes in, Murderface!" He barreleds through de door like de bull and knockeds over ones of my guitars. Was he tryings to pisses me off? "Sits yous fat ass down and don'ts break nothings else."

"I'll do what I want, dumbassh," he saids, but he obeyeds me.

"Ja, ja, whatevers. You knows why you ams here?"

"To talk about bassh shit. Toki told me."

"No, dat ams not it. I tolds him to tell you dat to get you in heres. I wants to talk about littles Toki."

"What about him? He'sh the rhythm guitarisht, what'sh there to shay?"

"I t'ink yous know. You ams realizing that Toki ams mine, corrects?"

"You mean like your guitarisht or shomething? Ish thish about me ushing him for Planet Pissh?" Damn, he ams slows.

"Partlies, but it ams more about yous wanting to fucks him. I's hads a claim on him as soons as I saw him, sos you can'ts have him. It ams not like he would wants you anyways, but still. It ams de principle of de matter, I's not wantings nobody to looks at him."

"Why the hell are you telling me thish? I'm not gay, I don't care what you two queersh do. It you want to complain about shomeone taking him I'd go after the other two guysh."

"I's plan to, ands for yous informations I's never screwed him befores. Nots for de lack of tryings of course, but Toki ams pretty stupids sometimes." Murderface snickereds. He reallies, reallies pissed me offs. I don'ts understand why Toki woulds ever hang arounds with dis guy.

"Maybe he doesh know what you're up to, he jusht doeshn't want to."

"Don'ts say something so stupids. I fucks anyone I want. Now, yous nots going to go off with him no more, for yous Planets Piss shits or otherwises." He ams snorteds, and he looked even mores like de pig than usuals.

"Why should I? I need hish guitar playing." He ams a real dumbsfuck, an even biggers one den Toki, ands a hell of a lots less cute.

"Because if yous don't I's get you kicked out of de band. Nat'an listens to me about dat stuff, remembers?" He's cussed a lots.

"Fine, I'll hire shomeone elshe to play in my band! People are lining up to do it!" he stomped towards de door.

"I's sure. Hey, tells Toki to gets him ass in here. I wants to practice fors a while."

"I'm not allowed to talk to him anymore, remember? He'sh with Charlesh, go get him yourshelf." He lefts de room and I glareds at hims back. Sos what if he ams de douchebags, at least I's don't have to worry about him screwings with Toki anymores. Mister Managers ams still an issues though, obsviously. I's go deal with him in de morning, buts for now I's got to wait for Toki to gets out of hims meeting, and den I's get him to bring his ass here for practices.

* * *

Toki's POV

When I's got back to de Haus I decided to takes Murderface's advice and go talks to Charlies. It was de least I coulds do, since I's sent him to talk to Skwisgaar, and he ams been acting real weirds lately. He seems like he don'ts want me around none of de other guys, ands he ams always callings me up for de extra practices. Amnest he know Pickle ams teaching me now too? He don'ts need to help me sos much! Dat ams de whole reason I's asked Pickle to helps me anyway, sos he would have more time to works on de writings and stuff! Maybe I's ask Charlie about that too, he ams really smart! I's wish de door to hims office hads something different about it though, it ams hard to find! I's always have to get de Klokateers to takes me, or follows de guys.

"Master Toki, this is Sir Ofdensen's office. Is there anything else you need?"

"No, t'ank you um... what ams yous number?"

"925, master."

"Ah, alrights. T'ank you, 925. Yous can go!" De Kloksateer bowed and left while I's walked into Charlie's room. I'd stoppeds bothering to knock a longs time ago.

"Ah, Toki. You just walked in again. Without knocking. What is it?"

"Murderface ams said I shoulds ask you about dat contract you and Nat'an mades me sign," I tolds him, going to sits in de chair in fronts of hims desk.

"Which ah, which contract, Toki. You've signed many."

"De one about de pianos."

"You mean the one that ah, states that you can't play the piano in any band except for Dethklok?"

"Ja, ja, that one! De one dat was in English."

"What about it?"

"Why ams I not allowed to play for no others bands? Murderface ams wants me to play piano in hims new Planet Piss album!" I crosseds my arms, because de more I thought abouts it de more unfairs I thought it was.

"You're ah, a very skilled piano player Toki. You could easily become famous on that alone, and we ah, we don't want to risk you quitting and trying for a solo career, at least not until your contract runs out. Pickles ah, Pickles had to sign one as well, though his was for piano as well as guitar and singing."

"Den why was it in English? All mine other contracts was in Norwegian, sos I coulds read dem toos!"

"Nathan wrote the contract up, and I ah, I didn't have time to translate it. I can write up a new copy if ah, if you'd like," he pushed hims glasses up his nose, and I felts grateful dat he was willing to does sos much to makes me happy.

"No, dat ams alright, I's believe you! I's got one more t'ing to ask yous though," I felt sorts of nervous then, since I didn'ts usually talks about Skwisgaar with Charlie.

"And ah, what is that Toki?"

"Skwisgaar ams has been acting sorts of funny lately."

"What do you mean? He seems ah, fine to me. He's been playing well, and he hasn't been having any of his stomach problems."

"He's been gettings real upsets when I hangs out with the other guys, and he ams been making me practice even mores den usual, even though Pickle ams teachings me too now!"

"Well ah, Toki, Skwisgaar is probably used to being the only one who teaches you. He may be having trouble getting ah, used to it." I nodded.

"Hm... maybes so. You t'ink I should talks to him?"

"Well, for anyone else I'd ah, say yes, but to be honest letting him know you recognize the problem will probably just upset him more." I nodded.

"Ja, okays! I sees you later Charlie!" He noddeds, and I hopped out of hims office and went back to my room. I's had bunches of new models planes to work on!

* * *

Skwisgaar's POV

It ams been an hour, so Toki has to be out of hims stupids meeting by now! And if he ams not, I's will just go gets him from Charlies office mineself! I gets up and start going down de hallway towards Toki's room, grateful to Nat'an for puttings us on de same hallway, even though I usuallies acted likes I wasn't especiallies when I have to look after poors Toki when he gets drunkses. Whens I knock on hims door I's is reminded dat it needs to be replaced, because it ams sos much thinner dan everyone elses.

"Ja? Who ams it?" I hears him call from de other sides.

"It ams Skwisgaar! Yous need to come practice fors a while!" De door opened, ands I was met with hims adorsable pouting face.

"Skwisgaar! Yous made me practice alls yesterday! Can'ts I has a break?" he whineds.

"Nos, we ams goings to be recording de new album soons, sos you need to bes perfect, or as perfect as yous dildos self can be." He pouted, buts he followed me back to mine room anysway. "Sits on de bed. Yous can use one of my guitars," I tolds him, since I's just noticed de littles idiot didn't bring his with hims. He did whats I said, and I handed him one of de guitars from de wall.

"What you want to play, Skwisgaar?" he asked quietly, and I thought for a moment.

"Let's do dat new duet. You ams was having troubles with dat a few days ago."

"Oh, yays! I's practice dat with Pickle, I gots real goods at it now!" Mine eyes narrowed a littles. Dat stupids fucker had played my part in a duets with Toki? I wrote dat to shows how goods me and hims was together! How dares dat fuckings dildo licker! Amnest he know dat I am de only one alloweds to does de duets with him? Whatevers, justs one more t'ing to talks with him about, after I deals with Ofdensen and Abigail.

"We will sees about dat, littles Toki." Ands so we played togethers for hours, going through all de songs agains and agains, but it was brokens up by Toki begging for de solos. Maybes once he stops pissings me off with all de 'palsing around' with de other guys I will lets him have one. Ors at least puts in a few more duets.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N So, Skwisgaar has now properly dealt with Murderface, so now it's Charles' turn! Aren't you all so happy for him?

Disclaimer: I don't own Metalocalypse.

* * *

Skwisgaar's POV

Toki lefts my room at abouts midnight dat night, ands I immediatelies went to Charles' office. I's knew dat he was usuallies in there alls night, and I figured it woulds be better if nones of de other guys knowed about dis visit. I mades quick works of de walk to hims office and openeds up de door loudlies. He was sittings at hims desk like usuals, as though he was betters den everyone elses because he was smarts and shits. I thought he was de huge dumbfucks.

"Ah, hello Skwisgaar. Is it a Scandinavian thing to barge into rooms without knocking?" Dat dildos! Who he think he ams to talk to me likes dat! I's sat down, annoyed and pisseds, and glared ats him.

Charles' POV

I ah, don't generally enjoy being rude to my boys, but honestly, barging into my office at midnight? It's disrespectful, and I'd ah, I'd hoped that I could finish my work without any further distractions. "I'm ah, I'm sorry Skwisgaar. I'm very tired, and I've already had a meeting with Toki today. Can whatever this is wait until tomorrow?"

"Nos. It ams important. It is involvings little Toki, actually." I sighed. Did he figure out what I'd ah, told Toki. Damn I hoped not, I didn't want to deal with an angered Swede, at least not tonight.

"What's the problem, Skwisgaar?" He smirked, and I could ah, tell I wouldn't be having nice evening.

"Yous and Toki ams been spending a lots of time together recently, ja? I don'ts really likes it, tos be honest." This is what he ah, wanted to disturb me for? His idiotic, petty jealousy? Does he not know I've been married for ten years?

"Skwisgaar, I ah, I believe there has been a misunderstanding. I've got no romantic feelings for Toki whatsoever, and likely never will. I'm happily married."

"Reallies now? Den why ams he been comings in here all de time? Why he always come to you? I'm supposeds to be de only one he ams needings!"

"Don't be ridiculous. Toki is one of my boys, just like you are, and I don't care any more or less about him than I do the rest of you. It's ah, it's silly to think otherwise, and even sillier to believe you're the only one he should ever speak to."

"How ams dat sillies? He ams mine boy, not yourses." I rubbed my temples. Was he really going to make me deal with this this early?

"It's silly because people ah, need more than one person in their life. You ah, can't expect Toki to go to you for everything. Toki confides in me because he trusts me. I would assume he sees me as a sort of father figure because of my age." Skwisgaar looked even more upset.

"Sos you ams using de experience cards? You thinks you ams de better lover cause of dat? As ifs! I's fuckeds more in a years den you has in yous whole life!" It was times like ah, like this that I hated working for Dethklok.

"You're misunderstanding me ah, again. I have no sexual or emotional attraction for Toki. If anything I think you and he should be together, you balance out rather well. You're good for one another." Skwisgaar laughed.

"Ja, you thinks I fall for that? You says shits like dat to make me t'ink yous not interested, den snatches him! I's not stupids!" Goddamn it all to hell.

"Skwisgaar, ah, please, what do I have to do to make you understand I don't want to date Toki?" He looked thoughtful, and I found myself praying, something I ah, hadn't done in years.

"You gots cameras alls over dis place, ja? Evens in our roomses?" Now where could he be taking this?

"Yes, I do. In case a fan tries to steal something, and to root out spies and the ah, the like."

"Den lets me use dem." Damn if I ever pray again.

"Why ever do you want to use my cameras, Skwisgaar?"

"To spies on Toki. If I's can watches him whenevers, I's can be sure dat you ams not doins nothin, pluses I's can keeps an eye on de other guys as well." To say I was ah, unwilling to allow such a thing was an understatement, but damn, I wasn't quite cognizant at that time, and I honestly think I ah, would've done anything to get him out at that point.

"Fine, you have authorization to use them for three weeks. If this ah, endeavor is not resolved by then I'm afraid I won't help any longer." Skwisgaar nodded, obviously pleased, and I continued to rub my head. Perhaps I would start praying again. Hell, maybe I could even go back to church, pick up Catholicism again. Ha, who ah, who am I kidding? If I became religious again this immoral job would kill me in a week.

* * *

Skwisgaar's POV

I'd gottens de use of Mr. Managers cameras, ands I figured I mays as well tries dem out. I means, I only has three weeks, sos I gots to does what I cans. Now, where ams dat room? Fucks, I needs a Klokateer, but I can only finds de lazy ones dat does de sleepings in de bloods. It ams rather annoyings. Ah, dere ams one dat isn't an ungrateful bastards!

"Yous, come here! I wish to be escorteds to de camera room."

"I'm afraid I'm not allowed to do that, Master Skiwgelf." I rolleds my eyes and scoffeds. He dared to denies me something?

"I's just came from de robot's office. I's got permission to gos in there for three weeks." He lookeds reluctant, but finallies he ams just walked me tos a room deep in de Haus. Goods move for him. It ams gets real tedious throwing guyses to de yard wolves. Withins dat room, I's found a wall lined in cameras, ats least one for every room in de Haus and twos or three for de rooms de band frequented. It tooks me almost no times at all to find mine Toki's room, and I smileds when I did. He ams was sprawled across hims bed, mouth a littles open and probablies snoring. Damn, ams dere a sound option? I should've asked Charles befores I left, but there amnest much I can does about it now. Besides, Toki ams cute with or without sounds. Hey, waits a goddamns minute! Ams someones coming into hims room? Ja, ja, someone ams! Who de fuck ams dat? I can feels mineself leaning forward ands squinting. Den I's see him, Pickle, walking into mine Toki's room while he ams asleep! Fucks, what de hell ams he doesing? If he even thinks of touchings him... his hand ams shaking Toki's shoulder, and hims lips ams moving. It looks like he ams saying Toki's name, and he wakeses up. Fuckings ass, why ams he has to ruin dat adorasble picture? Shits, dey ams leavings... fucks, fucks, where ams dey going? Hallsway... anothers hallway... damns, dis place needs fewer fuckings hallways! Okays... dere, dey ams finally stopping, but I t'ink I woulds rather dey didn't because dat ams Pickle's room.

I's can't help but wonder if now ams when he will makes hims move, when he ams thinking everyone else ams sleeping. I wants to run in there and busts them, I want to takes him away and nevers let nobody touches him again. Ifs I could I woulds put him on de pedestals, highs above the world, because I mights be de god of everyone else but he ams de god of me... oh, dey ams justs practicings guitar again, sos I guess I can relax. I don'ts really likes it, dat Toki t'inks he needs someone else to helps him, but I can puts up with dat. De fact dat he seems to be enjoying himself sos much, dat he ams laughings and actuallies having fun, is sort ofs upsettings, but I's can fix it. I's can fix anything... damn, I's getting tired, but I don'ts want to leave. What if Pickle tries to does de huggings or de kissings? What if dey ams screwings? I's need... to know... buts I can't keep... mine eyes open no more...

* * *

Pickles' POV

I gat Toki up fer practice sometime about one a'clack in tha' mornin', but I felt sorta guilty about it. I mean, the kid was sleeping really well, and I know I hate ta get woken up when I'm actually resting. He did say to wake him up at this time every night though, so I ain't gat much choice. Fer how comfortable he looked he was easy to wake up, and I led him down a few halls to my room. Poor kid still couldn't get around here too good, but I figured it was because he was always trailin' around after Skwisgaar. The Swede always acts pissed about that, but I figure it's mostly an act, considering the crush he has on the kid is a mile wide and more obvious than Nat'an when he walks into a room. It'd almost be funny if the fuckin douchebag would stop suspecting everyone of wanting to hump the kid into a damn wall. Hanestly, no one, 'cept Murderface an maybe Nat'an, have even shown the slightest sign of wantin' to do dat. S'fuckin annoying, but hell, maybe I can help this shit along. If I can get Toki ta realize that no, it ain't idol worship he has for Skwisgaar, it's just worship, then maybe Skwisgaar will stop his jealousy shit. Or maybe he'll get even worse, but fuck if that ain't a risk I'm willing to take. We get to my room and Toki sits on my bed like he owns the damn thing. Fuckin douchebag. I sit beside him and grab my old gold top anyway. I need ta replace the thing, but I can't ever really bring myself ta do it. Too sentimental, I guess.

"So, what do ya wanna practice tanight?" I asked him, strumming mindlessly and reminding myself of the exact blonde dumbfuck I'd just been thinkin of.

"Hmm... maybes we can try de new solo Skwisgaar wrote, ja? I t'ink maybe I might gets him to gives me one pretty soon!" I sighed. Yeah, just as soon as you suck his cack for him.

"Whatever kid. I already said we could practice whatever ya want, since yer tha one askin for these lessons in tha first place. Any particular part ya wanna do, or ya just wanna go through all of it?" He laughed, setting his fingers in the right places to start the song. I always thought he needed a different kind of guitar, since that one always seemed a little awkward in his hands, but he seemed almost as attached ta the damned thing as I was ta mine.

"Alls of it please, buts there ams one part I's having more trouble with."

"We'll do that first then. What part is it?" He looked confused on how to explain it, and I suddenly remembered dat he was more clueless on how ta read and write music dan Skwisgaar.

"Wowees Pickle, I don't really knows how to says dat. De part dat starts to go reallies fast, I's guess. I's keep tripping up on ones part."

"Toki, ya might wanna ask Skwisgaar about dat part. Ya know I can't play as fast as you two." Hell, maybe dat would get dem started together. I really was gettin so fuckin tired of those two motherdouchebags dancing around each other. Fuckin ridiculous is what it was. He laughed again, playing through some random melody I didn't recognize, and even if I had it was way too pretty to be from a Dethklok song, er any metal song for dat matter. "The hell are you playin?" I spoke again, and his mouth snapped shut.

"Dis? It ams somethings I heard Skwisgaar play a few weeks ago. Whatever it ams he plays it a lots, ands I was bored sos I been learnings it too!" So goddamned stupid, yet really fuckin cute. I wished Skwisgaar could have heard the little douche just then. "Anyways, you know I can't ask him to help me learn de solos! He just tell me to gets out, or throw de pigs blood on me again!" Dat... was probably true, hanestly.

"Fine. Play through it, and I'll see if I can help ya." He nodded, his tangled hair flippin like crazy, and den his fingers started to fly like lightning across da strings. He sounded just as fast, just as good, as Skwisgaar until he gat about halfway through, den he twisted his fingers and a shrill note came through. I tried to help him, but I ain't ever had ta play dat fast before, and he ain't ever asked me ta help him with a part that fast before, so I was pretty much useless. "Sarry kid, I don't know what ta tell ya. I do gat an idea though."

"What ams dat?" his head hung down, and he looked really fuckin miserable, like someone just kicked his dog er somethin.

"You sound awesome up til dat one part, right? Ask Skwisgaar ta make it a duet, an you can handle da first part while he takes da second." His face lit up.

"Ja, ja, dat ams greats! I t'ink I maybe ask Nat'an first though, ifs I can get him to agree tos it den Skwisgaar will haves to!" he ran out of my room, and I ran my fingers through what was left of my hair. Hope the little douchebag was plannin ta wait til tamarra. Oh well, not my fuckin problem. I flopped back on my bed and went to sleep, but nat before I took a nice drink of my favorite wine, which I'd just taken outta storage a few hours ago.

* * *

Toki's POV

Pickle ams always sos helpful! Makings it into de duets ams a great ideas, plus I loves doing de duets with Skwisgaar! It ams always nice to shares de spotlights with him every now and den! Nat'an am sures to agree, especiallies if I does a few more pianos parts for hims! He ams been hasslings me to do a whole bunches, sos I gots de bargaining chips! I'd better waits until in de mornings though, since Nat'an ams always really grouchy late at night, and I ams gettings tired toos, so I t'ink I's will just goes to bed fors now.

* * *

Skwisgaar's POV

Charles woke me up de next day, ands I glared at him.

"Whats you want?"

"The ah, other guys were wondering where you were. They got worried when Toki didn't find you in your room."

"Ohs... sorries, I gets up, ja? Heys, does dis t'ing have de sounds option?" He looked annoyed and rubbed hims temples again. I couldn'ts help but enjoy pissings him off sometimes. He was de toughs, stoics robot, so I t'ink it ams good to get him alls emotional nows and then.

"Blue button beside each monitor." I nodded, and togethers we went to the dining room, buts I gots a bad case of de sours stomach. Abigail had takens mine spot by Toki.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hello everybody, and welcome to chapter four of The Jealousy Of A Swede! Hope you guys like it, this is the chapter where Skwisgaar confronts Abigail.

Disclaimer: I don't own Metalocalypse.

* * *

Skwisgaar's POV

What was dat bitch t'inking? I's always sits there, I's never nots sit there! She needs to be taughts de lesson! Dat fucking whore slut skankies bitch! I can feels everybodies eyes on mes as I stomps out of de room, ands dey was especiallies sharp when dey noticed I'd barely touched mine food. Somesone ran after me, ands I hoped it was my littles Toki, but dat hope was dashed when I's noticed dat de footsteps was way toos light for somesone in de boots, ands I knew for sure whos it was when an accented voice yelled from behind me.

"Skwisgaar! Fack, wait a goddamn minute! My legs ain't as long as yers!"

"Fucks off, Pickle."

"No, look man, Abigail didn't know dat was yer seat! If you'd asked she would've moved!" That fucking dildos, trying to defend the godsdamn whore! I stopped fors a second, and almost let him catch up.

"Too damns bad. She shoulds have realized." I rans off, and even though Pickle tried to catches me he was toos slow, and I gots to my room and shuts de door. Its was about an hour befores I heards a knock. De persons on de other sides wasn't welcomes.

"Skwisgaar? Skwisgaar! Open up the door! I need to have a chat with you!" De bitch's voice grated on mine nerves.

"The fucks you want? I'm busies!"

"I want to talk about this morning, Skwisgaar. Come on, it has taken me this whole time to convince Toki not to come bother you!" Dat made me smiles, at leasts a little. Sweets Toki was worrieds about me, buts I was even more pissed at Abisgail. Why in de hell ams she think Toki would've bothered me? "Skwisgaar! Open up, please? Nathan isn't going to be able to keep him occupied for too long!" She sents him to fucking Nathan? What the hells, he ams probablies getting fucked or somethings right now! I gots up and opened de door without thinkings, and shes came in and closed it behind her befores I could does anyt'ing abouts it. "Thank you. Now, what in the world happened? Have you heard from your mother recently or something?"

"How in de hell does you know about mine mother? Buts no, I haven'ts. I ams upsets over somethings else. A few other t'ings, actually." Abouts five other t'ings to bes exact, with Abisgail at de tops of de list fors de moment.

"Toki said you usually only had problems with your stomach when your mother was brought up. That's why I assumed that was the issue, but if it isn't then I need to know what's wrong. As your producer, I feel I need to be involved in your life, even if only a little."

"It ams you. You tooks my seat, fuckings bitch. I don't lets nobody sit in dat seat except fors me. Alsos, you fuckings sent him to Nat'an! Dat ams unacceptables, he ams probablies trying to fucks him as we speak!"

"What? They're talking about a suggestion Toki had for the album! Have you been drinking?" Album suggestion? What de hell kinds of excuse was dat? Toki knows less dan Murderface abouts writings de music!

"Nos, I has not been drinkings! Toki don't know nothing about writings music, stupids bitch! Shits, Nat'an ams trickings him into something, I fucking knows it! Fucks, get de hells out, I deal with you later!"

"Skwisgaar, no! Sit down!" She ran over and locked my door again, and I glared. She wanteds to get yelled at nows? Fines, I fucking does it, but if Toki ams gettings screwed right now I's going to kill de bitch.

"Alrights, you skankies slut! I does dis yous way! Yous been eyesing Toki since you gots here, even when yous had Nat'an and Pickle at each others throatses! I fucking hates you, especiallies when you took mine goddamn seats dis morning! I sits with Toki because he ams mine! He ams mine guitarist, mine boy, mine everything! Just because you ams a woman don't mean you gots de rights to him, and it definitely doesn't mean yous can sends him off to Nat'an!"

"W-What? What are you saying, Skwisgaar?"

"You wants to fuck Toki, ja? Too damns bad! You think he could actuallies fuck something? Dat ams ridiculous! He would never fucks you, nots some slut!"

"Skwisgaar, please!"

"Please whats, gives him to you? Hells, you probablies want to have de threesomes with him and Nat'an! He fucks Toki while Toki fucks you, ams dat right?"

"No! Skwisgaar, I might've looked at Toki before, but if you and he are together I won't mess with that!" I scoffeds. Ats least she was admittings it, which was mores den anybody elses did. I t'ink dat ams what made me sort of forgives her, de fact dat she acknowledged that she thought about it, but woulds give ups.

"Whatevers, bitch. I mights forgive you if you don'ts take my chair no more. You gots any idea where Nat'an tooks Toki?"

"I… think they went to his room, but I promise it was only to talk about music, don't overreact!"

"Says what you want." I lefted de room and she stoods dere in shock. Nots wanting to unsbarrass mineself if what she saids was true I went to de camera room to checks out what was goings on.

I's found de room pretties easily, and I locked de door when I walkeds in. Ifs Abigail tolds Charles abouts how upsets I was he woulds probably look for me heres, and I didn't want to be bothered. I didn'ts stop to t'ink dat Charles probablies had a fuckings key, but I's was too distracteds by looked for Nat'an's room. I sigheds in relief when I finally founds it, since dere didn't appear to be any fuckings going on. Dat, however, dids not mean dat dere wasn't abouts to be, sos I pressed de button Charles had pointed outs earlier. Nat'ans voice came through clearlies.

* * *

Nathan's POV

"Uh… what? Shouldn't you ask, you know, Skwisgaar about this instead?" Not that I didn't want the little fucker around. He was a cute kid, I'd uh, always kind of… cared about him. Kind of. And I didn't really like how he just sort of trailed after Skwisgaar. Skwisgaar was an asshole to him, like uh… all the time. Even when we first got him. He doesn't deserve that, I guess is what I'm trying to think. He could do a hell of a lot better. Shit, there were a fuck ton of female fans that would kill just to touch him, there were probably plenty of men too. I'd never asked before. Fuck, Charles probably weeds out the guys to avoid publicity. He's always on top of shit like that.

"You knows I can't does dat! If yous agree to it he'll have to! Besides, he ams not feeling too goods today, remembers? I don't wants to bother him." I sighed. Or huffed. Or growled. Fuck, I don't know. Something like that. Any damn way, Toki was too fucking worried about Skwisgaar, he'd just been pissed off that morning. It happened a lot. Hell, the Swedish dildo would probably be happy if Toki came to check on him. Too fucking happy. Damn, when the hell did I start feeling this shit? It's not fucking brutal to be pissed at a bandmate because he wants to fuck a Norwegian kid! So what if Toki's really fucking cute! Or a lot nicer than Abigail and all the other bitches I've dated. Or that he has a hot body. Shit shit shit shit shit fucking shit.

"Fuck, I don't know. Fans always like it when you guys do duets… hell, I'm fine with it. But he's the one who has to rewrite it and shit, not me, so go ask him."

"De fans actuallies like de duets? I thought they only liked de solos and stuffs. Maybe he won't be toos upset den! I's go check! Bye, Nat'an!" He hugged me and ran out of the room. Stupid little asshole. Didn't he know shit like that could be taken in the wrong way by some people? Like Murderface. Or Pickles. Or Skwisgaar. Yeah, especially Skwisgaar.

* * *

Skwisgaar's POV

Fucks fucks fucks I need to fuckings run! I don'ts want Toki to get tos mine room before I do or he mights leave! Goddamns it, why ams de camera rooms have to be sos far away from mine room? When I's got dere I was pantings, but at leasts Toki wasn't dere yet. I opened de door and sats down, attempting to settle mineself, but a knock came ways to quickly.

"C-Comes in!" I yelleds, cursing de stutter. De door openeds.

"Heys Skwisgaar!" he yelleds cheerily, sittings with me on de bed. "Was you doings… something befores I came in? Yous face ams red, and yous pantings." Fucks. He thought I was jackings off? Hows I fix that?

"Nos! If I's was jacking off you really t'ink I would've let yous in?" Honestly, I probably would haves, but stills. I don'ts t'ink I would've stopped. He shrugged.

"I guesses not. Anyways, I's was talking to Nat'an, and I's gots a question."

"What ams it, little Toki?"

"Woulds you maybes be willing to change dat new solos you wrote into de duets? I's really like it, ands I want to play parts of it, but I's can't do de second half, sos I thought maybe I coulds lead de first part and you puts something in for you underneaths, and you could does de second part while I dids something underneath!" I trieds to look thoughtsful, even though actuallies dat was a goods idea.

"I don'ts know, Toki… dat ams a lot to does before de album comes out." De look on hims face was worth de littles white lie.

"Skwisgaar, please? I does whatevers you want!" He reallies, reallies needed to stops making offers like dat. But hells, maybe I coulds be using it to my advantage.

"Anyt'ing?"

"Ja, ja, anyt'ing!" Stupids Toki. Buts I wouldn't take advantage of him dis time, at leasts not toos much.

"Don'ts let nobodies take mine seat at de dinner table no mores. I don'ts like it," I smiled, and he smileds back.

"Nos problem, Skwisgaar! Ams dat why you was upsets dis morning?"

"Mostlies. I's has sitted dere ever since Dethklok was formeds. I don'ts like having to moves."

"Yous real weirds Skwisgaar. Hey, you wants me to stays and help you rewrites dat part?"

"Nos, but you can stays in here. Maybes you can plays it while I writes it." He looked happys as he took de guitar I normally lets him use in here when he amnest has his. Dat made me happys too, and I smileds a little when I grabbed mine own guitar. He didn'ts notice.

We sats in dere for a while, me playings something once and den Toki playing after me, telling me whether or nots he liked it. It was a nice change of de pace from dealing with Nat'an and Pickle. Afters a while, howevers, I heard Toki playing somethings quietly, in between de strains of de new duet. Waits a fucking minute! Dat… dat ams mine song! I wrotes dat for Toki! Where ams de little dildo hear it?

"Toki?" I asked quietlys, not really upsets but curious.

"Ja?" he asked me, softs and delicate, and maybes sort of tired.

"I wrotes dat song you ams playing overs a year ago, but I hadn't played it for nobody. Where ams you hear it?" I trieds not to sound harsh like I normally dids, because I didn'ts want him to leave. I liked de companies he was providings, and it was nice to haves him all to mineself for once.

"Oh! Sorries, Skwisgaar, I didn't know it was justs yours! I heards you playing it abouts a month ago, ands I liked it. I won'ts play it no more if you don'ts want me to."

"Dat ams okay. Plays it all you want, I don'ts got no copyrights on it. Besides, you sound not so dildos when you plays it." It was amazings how a compliments like dat could make him sos happy. I liked to sees him like dat, sos I decided I woulds make dem all de time, ors at least when we was by ourselveses. I dids have an image to keeps.

"T'anks, Skwisgaar."

"Whatevers, you ams welcome, Toki." We sats dere for de rest of de night and on into de mornings, sometimes actuallies working and sometimes just sittings next to each others. I t'ink it was de nicest night I's had in yearses, but soons it will be time to confront Pickle. I's almost can't believe dat soon little Toki will bes all mine!

* * *

Pickles' POV

I gat a bad damn feeling that shit's about ta hit tha fan, and from tha way he's been actin I can't help but think it's gonna involve Skwisgaar. Goddamn, ain't enough booze in the world to deal with that douchebag.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N Hey guys, here's the 'Skwisgaar has a major bitchfit over Toki towards Pickles' chapter. Anyway, if you guys are liking this I might do a sequel where Skwisgaar has some competition from Nathan for the heart of his little Norwegian.

Disclaimer: I don't own Metalocalypse.

* * *

Skwisgaar's POV

When Toki and I gots to de dining room, two seats remained, ands while dey was besides each other, they wasn't our seats. What de hells was going on with dis shits? We has sats in de sames places for years! Shits dildos fuck, de two seats ams between Nat'an and Pickle… I's take de one besides Nat'an. Toki didn't seem toos upsets, but I wasn't sures whether dat was a goods thing ors a bads thing. Perhaps I'd gottens de biggest threats wrong. De mores I listened tos dem talk de more I's knew dat I hads to stop Pickle's progressings.

"Hey, Pickle, I come by yous room tonight?" Why in de hell ams Toki have to ask dat? Shits, dis ams escalating way toos much!

"Yeah, sure thing kid." De way he saids it was uninteresteds and distracteds, but it felts like de act. I wondereds, was he goings to Pickle's room to fuck? Was Pickle spouting some 'bandmates are allowed to screw' ideas he gotten from Snakes N' Barrels? I hads to get in dere before Toki, and prevents dat bullshits! I hads to save mine little Norwegian's ass from dat Irish dick! I didn'ts notice how tightlies I was clenching mine fists, nor dids I notice dat mine palms was bleedings.

"Skwisgaar? Yous hands ams bleeding!" Toki's voice barely brokes through my angers, but I unclenched my fists. De room had gotten sos quiet dat I could even here de blood drop on de stone floor.

"Shits."

"Why you does dat Skwisgaar!? Yous gots to play reals soon, and now it ams going to hurts! Comes on, yous gots to clean dat." Toki draggeds me off, and I smirked, because I coulds feel Nat'an glaring at me, I coulds feel Pickle hatings me. Stupids dildos, ofs course Toki cared de mosts for me! I was worryings for nothing! I shouldn'ts even worry about gettings rid of dose guys! Buts, you knows, I would does it anyways. Gots to bes safe, ja?

Toki draggeds me to hims room, staining hims hand with mine blood, mumbling de whole way abouts how I was stupids, buts I still smileds. Ams dis what it felts like to have de lovings wife at home? It was pretties nice. Guess dose regular jack offs coulds get somethings right. He sats me on hims bed and went into de bathromses, befores coming out with somes bandages and a tubes of something. He trieds to put it on mine hands, but I pulleds away. I loveds him, and trusteds him, but I hads to protect mine hands, ja? Otherwise Mr. Managers would probablies kill mes, and den who woulds protect littles Toki?

"What ams dat?"

"It ams de antiseptics. You don'ts want dat to gets infected, does you?"

"Nos… here you goes." I put my handses back out again, and he tooks dem delicately. He put de cream over de bleeding parts sos gently I didn't even flinch, ands I smiled when I's saw how concentrated he was. I was glads to be sos important to him.

"Hey, Skwisgaar?" He was reals quiet, and if we was anywheres else I don't t'ink I woulds have even heards him.

"Ja?"

"Why you does dis? Yous been acting funnies lately. I don'ts want you to bes hurtings youself." De bandage was a littles distracting, buts de tightness was almost nice, kinds of like a glove, ands I couldn't really pays attention, sos I know my excuse wasn't de best.

"I's maybe been a littles stressed. De new album ams stretchings me kinds of thin, I's guess."

"Don'ts work toos hard! I don'ts like it when you acts like dis. I already can'ts talk to Murderface nos more, he ams sayings he can't bes around me, I don'ts want you tos be actings wrongs too!" I hads to work hard to hides mine pleasure. De fat bastard had actually listeneds!

"You shoulds know I won'ts ever ignores you. You ams pretties okay. Mores okay den de other dildos." He smileds, and we just sorts of sat dere in his room fors a while. Its was pretty nice, especiallies when he sats beside me on de beds and didn'ts get upset whens our armses touched.

* * *

Pickles' POV

How much more obvious could dat douchebag get? Cutting open his motherfuckin palms? What the fuckin hell? And Toki wasn't fuckin helpin matters any! Was I the only one who could deal with this shit? Gaddamn, I ain't their mam! Shit, I don't even know anymore. Nat'an is fuckin jealous of Skwisgaar, Skwisgaar's fuckin jealous of everybody, and I'm caught in between like always. Motherdouchebags couldn't do anything without me, but I'm putting a fuckin stop ta this shit tonight. I know Skwisgaar's gonna come by, he ain't gonna be able ta resist, and I'm gonna set the fucker straight: ain't nobody gonna fuck Toki, 'cept maybe for Nat'an, and he wasn't gonna do it if the Swedish dildo would hurry up and confess! It wasn't like Toki was gonna say no anyways! Those assholes have been wanting ta screw ever since they met! Fucking hell, I'm gettin too old ta deal with this bullshit. Thought I was done playing matchmaker years ago. Fuckin cunts.

* * *

Skwisgaar's POV

Toki accidentallies fell asleep ats about tens o'clock, sos I crept out and wents to Pickle's room, which was all de ways across de goddamns Haus. I knockeds on hims door, ands it was easy to hears him rolls out of hims bed and onto de floor. I hopeds he broke hims face, and I hopeds he looked like Murderface now. He opened de door ands I frowned. Fuckings drunk ass bastard looked de same as always.

"Skwis? The fuck're you doin here?" Ja, hims was veries drunk. He onlies ever calleds me Skwis when he was like dis, ands I was more glads den ever dat I's had come instead of Toki. Dere was no telling what dis asshole woulds do rights now.

"Expectings someone else?"

"Yeah, Toki's supposed at be here, ain't like him at nat come when we're supposed at practice, ya know? So, whatcha want?"

"I wants to talk abouts Toki. I's come in?"

"Ah fuck… I know what dis is about. Yer jealous, ain't ya Skwis? Shit, I figured ya would come tanight, but I don't wanna fuckin deal with it. Can't ya come back when I'm sober? Shit man, I ain't thinkin clear right now…" He held hims head, like dat woulds make me sympathetics. Sures, I'd been in de same situations before, but dere wasn't nobodies but Toki what gave a fuck, sos I amnest does it for hims.

"Too damns bad. If yous knowed I was comings you shouldn'ts have gotten sos drunk. Fuck, it smells like shits in here. What ams you smokings?" I shouldereds my way past him and sats on hims bed, and he unsteadily shut de door behinds me.

"Fuck if I know, Skwis. Shit, guy who gat it fer me probly don't know either. Works damn good though. You want some?" Dumbsass. Toki ams was way toos good for dis fuck. Honestly he ams probablies too good for mes too, but I ams selfish, ands I can admit dat, sos I can't help but want to keeps him, even if it amnest what is bestest fors him. I's know I ams an assholes for dat, but hells, I nevers claimed dat I was a goods guy.

"Nos way in hells. I amnest going to touch nothing dat smells like dat. Don'ts be tryings to give any tos Toki either. I don'ts like him gettings high and shits, it amnest goods for him."

"Skwis, man, you sound like yer his fuckin mam. He's a grown man, he can do what he wants. He can do who he wants too, ya know?" I's punched him, and he flew off de bed.

"Wha' tha fack!?" He was holding hims bloody lip, ands his accents sounded worse den usual.

"Fuckings asshole! Toki amnest goings to fuck nobodies but me! Ands you don'ts give a damns about him ifs you think it ams alright for hims to get sos drunk and high, like you does!"

"I wasn't talkin about me, Skwis! Shit, I was talkin about Nat'an! He ain't fuckin with either of ya yet, but I don't want ya gettin upset if he chooses him insteada you! Shit, my fuckin mouth hurts…"

"Its shoulds! Toki shoulds stay sobers, ands healthies, and he amnest needs to die as early as de rests of us! Ands you! You ams tryings to takes him! Alls dat 'practicings' you ams doesing! Don'ts you know I ams de only one what cans teach him!? You amnest alloweds to play mine parts in de songs, especially nots de duets! Dose ams de parts I wrotes speciallies for us, and yous can't fucks with dat! Yous take hims off when he gets drunk, and he amnest remembers nothing in de morning! You probably fucks him! You amnest nothing but de old, piece of shits hair metals singer! You t'ink friends ams ables to do dat shit? Dey amnest! Toki cans only does dat kinds of thing with me! I's am supposed to bes de only one he gives a shits about! Nots you, nots Nat'an, nots nobodies else!" I felts better after I yelleds dat, and I sats back on de bed. Pickle sighed.

"Dood, do ya even listen ta me when I talk? I said I don't want him like dat. He's too fuckin young fer me man, I don't want nobody I'm gonna have ta teach everything, and I sure as hell don't want nobody that's gonna want an actual relationship. I like tha sluts, cause I don't haveta have any attachment to 'em. I get what yer sayin though, I think Toki should be with ya, but I want ya ta understand it ain't yer choice. I might be drunk, but I do know dat much. Toki's gat free will, ya know? And Nat'an wants him too. If Toki picks him, yer gonna have ta live with dat, and be happy fer him. Tha kid cares about ya, probly more den he cares about anybody, so ya should be happy. Just like da drugs an shit, I don't think he should get into dat shit either, but dats his decision. Ya can't force him." Fuckings asshole always hads to be reasonsables when he was drunks, but I amnest likes reason. I's preferred beings able to does whatever de hells I wanted, and dat was whats I was goings to do.

"Fucks you! I's am Skwisgaar Skwigelf, I does whatever de hells I want, whenever de hells I want. Ifs I want Tokis, I am going to haves him, I don'ts give a shits if Nat'an wants him toos! I gets him!" Pickle smiled despite hims busted lip.

"Alright Skwis, I ain't gonna argue. But listen, I've known Nat'an a long ass time, longer dan anybody else in dis band, and he ain't tha type ta give up on someone he wants either. Yer gonna have ta work hard at it. Like I said earlier though, I think you an' Toki should get together, so I'm gonna help ya. I'm on yer side, an Charlie probly will be too. Only one ya ain't gonna get is Murderface, but who gives a fuck about him, yeah?" He gaves dat crookeds ass smile, ands he always seemeds so fuckings sincere when he was drunks. I couldn'ts help but believes him, sos I smiled backs.

"Fines. I's guess we ams partners now, ja? I's starts on dat fucker Nat'an in de morning. Nights, Pickle. Ohs, and Toki amnest comings. He ams fells asleep in hims room, sos don't wakes him up."

"Whatever Skwis. See ya in the fuckin mornin." I noddeds and left, hearing de dull sounds of him fallings on de floor as I wents to mine room. I fells asleeps pretty quick, because fucks, it hads been de long fuckings day.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N It's finally over guys! This story has reached it's end, and I need to get back to my new series before I get the sequel written up. Any Natoki fans reading this should have a little fun, even if this is still primarily Skwistoki, since that's still my favorite.

Disclaimer: I don't own Metalocalypse.

* * *

Skwisgaar's POV

It was abouts six in de mornings when I head somesone knocking on mine door, ands honestlies I was pissed. I's hadn't gone tos bed until fives, sos I was stills tired didn'ts feels like doing shits.

"Skwisgaar! Yous up?" Toki. Ofs course, he was de only one dat coulds possiblies be up, ands de only one dat woulds bother to knock. I didn'ts feel pissed nos more.

"Ja, I'm up. Comes in, littles Toki." He looked sos earnest whens he came in dat even ifs I had still beens upsets I woulds have forgivens him.

"Sorries. I know you ams not usuallies up, but I's got boreds of waiting."

"Waitings for whats?"

"Hells if I know. Somesone to hangs out with, I guess. Mosts of de other guys has been ignorings me latesly. Murderface ams not evens ask me to helps him with Planets Piss nos more!" I's barely hids my smirk.

"Don'ts worry abouts it, littles Toki. Dey ams all assholes, ja? You ams always welcomes with me."

"T'anks, Skwisgaar. Heys, you wants to gos hangs out later? Afters practice though."

"We amnest gots practice todays, Toki." What in de hell was he talkings about? I's knowed de practice schedules by heart.

"I's does. Nat'an wants tos make sures all de pianos parts ams rights, since I haven'ts been practicings dem as much as I normalies does." Mothersfucking Nat'an! Toki amnest needs no more pianos practice! We don'ts even needs no piano in our songses! We ams death metals, nots pussy emotionals expresses central! De onlies reason I's can makes myself smile is dat it ams funny hows much I ams lying. Wes would sounds pretty shitty withouts de piano.

"Oh, ja, dat ams right. Comes back here when you ams done, wes go to a bar or somethings." He nodded, hims hair floppings around like de overexcited puppy's, and huggeds me tightlies. I's would've gone to grabs a sluts and 'relieve de stresses' dat caused, but fucks if I woulds let Nat'an bes alone with mys Toki after what Pickle had told me lasts night. I's ran out of mine room and tos Pickle's. "Pickle! Opens de hells up!" De door creaked opens and he glareds at me. Fucks, I's never would've guessed dat he coulds look sos pissed.

"Tha fuck do ya want, Skwisgaar? It's too damn early and I'm too damn sober ta deal with yer shit." Ohs, ja. Ofs course Pickle was going to has de hangsover.

"Fucks, sorries, buts I needs yous help. Comes on." I's grabbed hims arm and dragged hims out of de room and tos de camera rooms, never even noticings dat wes was both stills in our underwears.

* * *

Pickles' POV

Gaddamn motherdouchebag fuckin dildo! Comes inta my fuckin room, keeps me up til two in the fuckin morning, then goes bangin on my door four fuckin hours later, for fuck knows why, and den drags me out in my fuckin underpants! He wanna screw me instead'a Toki now!? Shit, where tha hell are we? Barely even any Klokateers down here!

"Where in tha holy hell are ya takin me Skwisgaar?" I wanted ta hit tha fucker.

"Cameras room. Yous said yous knowed Nat'an best, sos I want yous to helps me interpret hims actions." He opened up dis really creepy ass metal door and threw me inside. Fuck, are there really dis many cameras in Mordhaus? Weird shit.

"What tha hell do ya mean? Don't fuck with me right now Skwisgaar, I'm gaddamn tired and I wanna throw up." He sighed, like dat was actually an unreasonable question.

"I's want you tos tell me ifs Nat'an ams acting like he ams interested in mys Toki." Of fuckin course. Should've guessed it had somethin ta do with Toki.

"Ya got me outta bed for this shit? Man, I thought I was through with things like dis a long fuckin time ago."

"Yous talk like it ams sillies. I needs to know, Pickle. Comes on, de one for de recording studio ams on dis sides over here." He dragged me to da left side of tha room and pushed me into a chair, then pressed some button beside tha picture. It was silent for a few minutes before tha door opened, and Nat'an and Toki came in. Toki went into tha recording booth without much more than a smile.

* * *

Nathan's POV

Toki wandered into the recording booth, looking more flighty than he usually did. Fuck, it's a good thing he never leaves the damn Haus alone. Who the hell knows what would happen to him if he was by himself? I took the seat in front of the switchboard, and he stared at me for five fucking minutes. I stared back and finally he sighed, gesturing for me to turn on the talk-back mike.

"I's need to knows what you wants me to play, Nat'an." Oh… well shit.

"Uh… yeah. What haven't we recorded?"

"Satans Dethbattle, Burned tos Hell, ands Loki vs. Thor." Damn. We're really fucking behind.

"Which one has the most piano work?" Yeah, that was probably the best way to do this.

"Loki vs. Thor. I don't's know how we ams going to does de live versions of dat though." He popped his fingers and settled them on the keys, a hell of a lot more relaxed than he usually was. It was fucking weird. Usually he was all uh, like, cute and shit, but when he was like this… fuck, he was more than cute. He was almost sort of beautiful, kind of. Damn it, what the hell is up with this shit? I've never wanted to fuck a goddamn guy before! Shit, shit, damn it, he's still fucking looking at me. What the hell did he say? Some shit about not being able to play this song at the concert?

"Why the hell not?" Fuck if my goddamn guitarist doesn't play the fucking… piano.

"Yous guys has me playings de piano and de guitar in dis one. Dat song amnest even has any singings in it, remembers? It ams supposed tos be anothers calls-response song with mes and Skwisgaar." Mother of fuck.

"Are you really just now pointing this out, Toki?" He shrugged, his hands still settled so fucking prettily on the piano keys.

"I's figured you knew, ands hads some kind of plan." Fuuuuck. At least he was confident in me, I guess. Even though it was over something it really fucking shouldn't have been.

"What the hell ever. I'll deal with it. Play." He nodded, and I flicked off the talk-back mike. A slow, low sound issued into my ears, and I shuddered as it sped up. The throbbing, deep sound reminded me of the shit I'd listened to when I was a teenager, the first fucking metal I'd ever heard. It sounded like sex and drugs and crazy, bloody, bullshit, a fucking fight that no one was ever going to win because they all liked the carnage too damn much to stop.

He looked… nice playing that, concentrating so hard on not letting his fingers slip. I couldn't even fucking believe he started out playing shitty ass hymns anymore, he had to have been born playing songs like this. As much as Skwisgaar had been pissing me off lately I had to admit he knew what Toki sounded best playing. Fucking dildo. I don't know whether I should even be goddamn glad about that… I feel like there's fire all over me, like how I felt the first time I fucked. It's like this every time I watch him play. I don't fucking know how much more of this I can take, I'm goddamn Nathan Explosion, I fuck when I want to fuck, I fuck who I want to fuck, and I can't hold that shit back. I groaned, and barely noticed that Toki had finished the song, until he started trying to get me to turn the talk-back mike on again.

"I does okay, Nat'an?" Fuck, yes, you were fucking amazing.

"Yeah. You were, uh, fine. Good, I guess. We're done for now, I need to go… find out what to do for the live version." I was out of the room before Toki stood up. No way in hell was I letting him see how fucking hard I was.

* * *

Pickles' POV

I couldn't fuckin help but laugh. Nat'an had it surprisingly bad fer Toki, hanestly. I'm gaddamn surprised I hadn't noticed it before. Poor Skwisgaar. Shit, never though I'd say dat! I gotta laugh some more, dis is gettin more insane by tha minute!

"Why you ams laughing, yous dildo?" Skwisgaar was nearly growlin, and I stapped laughin damn fast.

"Shit, sarry. I hadn't ever seen Nat'an like dat. He's serious about Toki, Skwis. You need at watch out." He scaffed.

"As ifs. He amnest nothings compared tos me. Ands don'ts be callings be Skwis, you ams sober."

"Don't get too cacky, man. Nat'an gets a helluva latta sluts too, and Toki is pretty friendly with him."

"Shuts de hells up. Toki ams likings me, dumbsass. He askeds me to gos out with justs a littles while ago, actuallies. Ins fact, I's need to go gets ready. Maybes you can go explain tos Nat'an dat Toki ams not availables, ja?" He marched out of tha room and I shook my head. Crazy ass Swede.

* * *

Skwisgaar's POV

I's got to mine room abouts five minutes before Toki dids, ands was getting dresseds when he knocked loudlies on de door.

"Comes in!" I's yelled, mine jeans unbuttoned ands a wrinkled shirt throwns on de bed. He blushed.

"Ohs, sorry. Yous want me to comes back?" Hes looked detersminedly away from mine bares chest.

"Whys?" I asked, pretendings to not sees how umsbarrassed he was as I buttoneds my pants and went to grab de shirt.

"You ams gettings dressed!" I wanted tos laugh. He was sos fuckings cute!

"Ands? It amnest like I's got tits." I pulled de shirt overs my head. "Anyways, where you wants to gos?"

"Hells if I know. Long as it ams not de strips club I'm fine." I could've mades fun of him some mores, but den I know he would've lefts, ands I really wanteds dis night with him.

"Alrights. We go to dat one you like, de one with de really sweets drinks. What ams it called agains?"

"I don'ts know. It ams in de city though, somewhere really noisy."

"Dat ams dis whole town, Toki. I's just gets a Kloksateer to drives us, neithers of us has de license anyways." He noddeds, and we left de room, me pulling de shirts over mine head while I shuts de door.

We founds a Klokateer veries easily, and its was no troubles getting him to drives us to de barses, which was in de centers of de city. He droppeds us off, ands I had him wait in de car whiles we went in.

Wes got our seat rights away, and de waitress was attentives, flirting with me lightly. I remembers I'd fuckeds her before, maybes a few months ago, buts now I dids my best to lets her know dat I amnest was interesteds. It tooks a while, but eventuallies she gots it and lefts us alone. Toki sipped de pink coloreds drink he'd gottens carefully, ands I gulped down de whiskey I'd ordereds. In an hours we was boths drunk.

"H-Heys, Toki?"

"Ja?" Hes was drunker dan me, ands he was swayings in hims seats.

"We ams friends, ja?" He lookeds thoughtsful, his hair hangings limply in front of hims face.

"Ofs course! We ams best friends, Skwisgaar! You ams… you ams de best!" His heads fell on mine shoulder. I knowed it was probablies de alcoshol making hims says dat, buts it was still sweets, and it stills made me smile. Dat was when somes drunk ass womans came over.

"H-Heeeey, sexy. You wanna go have some… some fun with me and my friends?" I snorteds, mine hand firmlies on Toki's waists. I'd thought dat woulds make me look uninteresteds in everyone elses.

"Can'ts you see I'm alreadies occupieds, sluts?" She glareds at me, and had de nerves to look offendeds.

"I wasn't talkin to you, dumbass! I was talkin to Toki! Whattaya say, huh? You wanna come with us for the night?" She gestureds over to a tables across de room, filleds with both womens and men, all of whoms were starings lecherouslies. I snarleds.

"Fucks no he amnest!" I don'ts know what came overs me right den. I's kissed him. And den I draggeds him out of de bar and to de car. I don'ts t'ink I even paid. We was abouts halfway home before Toki spoke.

"Skwisgaar, whats was dar?" He seemeds nervous, buts not really upsets or disgusteds.

"You ams fucking mine, okays!?" I's blew up, right den. All de shits I'd been going through for de past few days came to de heads right at dat moment. "I don'ts want you fuckings nobody else, I don'ts want nobody else fuckings you, hells, I don'ts even wants nobody else lookings at you! Dese past few days, I's been getting rids of de other bands members, I's been trying to gets you all to mineself! I's know it ams selfish and I's know you deserves better, but fucks if I gives a damn!" I kisseds him again, and shits, he kisseds me back. "Toki?" He smileds.

"Swisgaar, dat ams de most fuckeds up, brutals t'ing I evers heard. Ofs course I's be with you!" He messily kissed mine cheek, ands we walked into de Haus hands in hands. Nat'an, who was sittings in de livings room, saws us, ands I smirked in triumphs, squeezing Toki's hand and leadings him up to hims room.

* * *

Nathan's POV

Fucker's gonna get it. No way in hell am I letting him take Toki like takes every other fucking thing! I deserve him a hell of a lot more!

"I need a fucking Klokateer!" I roared, and about twenty of them came over. "One of you go get fucking Skwisgaar." They all ran off, and I growled low in my throat. Skwisgaar came traipsing down the fucking stairs like he didn't have a care in the goddamn world, and I punched him. "You fucking bastard!"

"What in de hell!?" he screeched loudly, blood flowing from his nose and mouth. He spit a piece of a tooth into his hand and I grinned, but only for a second.

"No way in fucking hell am I letting you have goddamn Toki! You're a fucking dick to him! You beat him the fuck up, you insult him, you're a goddamn dick! You can't fucking have him!" He laughed, and I snarled some more.

"Too damns bad. He wants me, nots you. He amnest evers going to want a giant bastards like you! I'm betters in every way, ands he knows dat!" He hit me, but I barely felt it and shoved him into the wall.

"You're fucking not! You're fucking terrible! I'm going to fucking take him!" He snorted.

"Yous can tries, motherfuckings dildo." I smirked at him, and from the way he shuddered the light was just right, and my fucking teeth were looking sharp. This fucking game was on.

* * *

A/N Well guys, this one's over now! The sequel will probably be out pretty soon! Anyway though, I've got a request for you guys! If anyone's willing to do a drawing for any of my stories, I'll write a oneshot for them about anything they want, so PM me if you're interested! Bye everyone!


End file.
